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Welcome to Father Time Blog. This is a collection of questions and answers that have come during our conferences this past 15 years of travel, preaching and coaching. If you have subjects you would like to have included please email me at: We are committed to praying and seeing your family healthy, growing and full of love.

Marriage Redefined?

"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Eph. 1:4–5 MSG (Emphasis mine)

Beloved, in light of the current challenges to traditional marriage from the Supreme Court, I wanted to take a moment to share with you some truths from God's word.

The church in Ephesus, to whom the letter is addressed, was facing the same kinds of challenges we as believers face in our world today. Paul reveals within this letter God's eternal plan "to make us whole and holy by his love." Paul tells us that even before God made the heavens and the earth, "He had us in mind, and settled on us as the focus of his love." Every time I read that scripture my heart is amazed that God chose me to be the focus of His love! And Beloved, He chose you too!

We all want love and intimacy. We were created to love and be loved! But without Jesus, we look for love in any place we can find it. Unfortunately, this kind of love only leads to a life of desperation as it has no real ability to heal hearts and mend our wounds. This is the one of the devil's main strategies: To keep people in broken relationships, so that they create their own prison of guilt and shame and are never able to experience true freedom in a loving relationship.

Beloved, God made us to be whole and holy, not to leave us stuck in our wounds or in rebellion against Him. He designed us to have an intimate, loving relationship with Him and with His creation. When we follow God's plan for relationship with Him and with others, we experience true freedom to love and be loved, and true healing to be whole and holy.

In the book of 2 Timothy, Paul wrote about a world run by men (and relationships) without God:

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce-breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." 2 Tim 3:1–5 KJV (Emphasis mine)

Notice that in that last verse Paul even describes people in the church who would say that they are followers of Christ, but would deny that Jesus is powerful enough to change a broken life.

When it comes to the discussion of redefining marriage, we must understand the real issue. The issue is not just homosexuality and marriage. Our culture is filled with broken models of heterosexual love as well! Sexual relationships outside of God's holy covenant of marriage is not the whole and holy loving relationships He has planned for us. The opposite of heterosexuality is not homosexuality. It's holiness!! The opposite of homosexuality and heterosexuality is HOLINESS.

I have met hundreds of gay men and women who have suffered their entire lives thinking that they were a mistake. Their back-stories are filled with abuse and rejection. Don't be fooled by the media's portrayal of how loving and wonderful gay relationships are. Suffering has been a big part of their stories, and Jesus, through a person who has the right heart, can open a door of healing for them to become a whole person.

Beloved, do not be fooled. This is not a war between homosexuals and heterosexuals over what exactly marriage is. This is an attack on God's standard of holiness as it is expressed in the holy covenant of marriage.

No arguments here - God desires that we be holy as He is holy. So how do we do that? How do we address these issues with truth and love?

To be a voice of truth to this generation, we must first be partakers of God's love for ourselves.

Our message first comes through the life we live as a followers of Jesus, where His love and presence equips us to model what a holy and whole relationship is to the world around us. The most powerful message on marriage to your children and your community is the fidelity and passion you have as a godly couple. If your marriage is on fire your kids will want nothing less!

We can make a difference Beloved, one great marriage at a time. (More next month)

In His Smile,



*Join the conversation!  We'd love to hear from you!  Do you have a different opinion?  How do you share with your family and friends?  Are you taking part in the debate?  I'd love to here from you!  Leave me a comment below and I will respond.  

Living Again After a Life of "ME"

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