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Father Time

Welcome to Father Time Blog. This is a collection of questions and answers that have come during our conferences this past 15 years of travel, preaching and coaching. If you have subjects you would like to have included please email me at: fathers@mac.com. We are committed to praying and seeing your family healthy, growing and full of love.

The Father Wound In Our Children

I meet people everyday who are still waiting for healing to come between them and their dads.  

The wound of the father seems to be a very painful one that many people work through their whole life. Over two thousand years ago the prophet Jeremiah described this same wound he saw in his own culture as well, "Orphans we are, not a father in sight, and our mothers are no better than widows." (Lam.5:3 MSG) Even modern day writers, who years before tried to convince us that dads were not important are now singing a different tune because of the world wide devastation they see in children who don't have a present loving dad in their stories. Jill and I got to see that first hand at a Youth Conference I spoke at in Iowa this past month. During the first session I asked the crowd of young a people this question: If you could change one thing about your relationship with your dad what would it be? The kids were ready and willing to respond.

" I wish my dad wouldn't drink so much, and spend time with me"
"I wish my dad could see me and who I am"
"I wish my mom and dad wouldn't get divorced and fight so much"
"I wish i knew who my dad was"
"I wish my dad cared about me"
This group, so excitable and bursting with energy from the conference was suddenly a somber, with not a dry eye in the house as they shared their struggles. Beloved, did I mention that the majority of these kids were raised in the church? Most of them couldn't figure out why the Jesus their parents told them about wasn't big enough to heal their families. They were having a crisis of faith. One of the young men pulled me aside and said, "Why was my father so brutal to me? He beat me up every day. I've been in 3 different high schools and they all had bullies who beat me up just like my dad did." His question broke my heart. Yet he is one of the many young people today whose identity has been shaped more by the trauma of their life than by the love and blessing of their father. There were many young people who also encountered the Father's blessing for the first time. One young lady was so rocked by the Father's love that she not only was able to forgive her father, but also invite him to church the next day! During the ministry time, I watched her in the back room blessing her dad the same way the Father blessed her at the Youth Conference a few days prior. Not only did this young lady receive the healing she was looking for, but she had become a source of blessing and healing to her dad who had never received a blessing from his own father!!

I call this "Operation: Bless Up", when a son or daughter goes back to bless their parent with the healing they too have waited a lifetime for!
So many young people today carry this wounding from their father. Some of them are more easy to recognize than others, choosing to put their pain on outward display with piercings and body art. Others fade away into the crowd never knowing what it feels like to be totally loved and accepted. The only way to navigate through the minefields of a broken identity is to receive the love of the Father that Jesus lived His life from. "Father, I have made Your Name known to them and revealed Your character and your very Self, and I will continue to make [You] known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be in them [felt in their hearts] and that I [Myself] may be in them." (John 17:26 AMP) There is a promise for generational healing in that verse. I have had the privilege of watching this promise transform people again and again as the Father chooses them to be a part of His family through His Son Jesus. I saw it again at this Youth Conference in Iowa - moment when their expressions change as they encounter God the Father and His love for them for the first time. If you were there, you would hear the Father say,
"Beloved [your name here], I have waited an eternity for this moment to tell you that your life will no longer be limited by the broken parts of your story. I chose to love you and adopt you long before I created this world. I sent my only Son Jesus so that you could see what it looks like to live out your story with my love backing you up every step of the way and so that I could adopt you into My family. I want you to know experientially what it is like to be a son, to be a daughter. Here I am, your Father. Will you come to me? Will you let me be a Father to you?" Thank you for the love and support that is backing Jill and I up as we share this message of grace that God has put on our lives. Let the blessing begin! Ed

 

 

What Dad's Really Want
Leading Your Family Through Hard Times

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