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Father Time Blog

Welcome to Father Time Blog. This is a collection of questions and answers that have come during our conferences this past 15 years of travel, preaching and coaching. If you have subjects you would like to have included please email me at: We are committed to praying and seeing your family healthy, growing and full of love.

When True Love Smells Like Smoke

Its Valentines day again and all across the land people are hoping that cupid's arrow will strike and either reignite their relationship or finally reveal the love of their life. I meet young people all the time who desperately want to find someone who will love them and heal the ache in their heart. My daughter Mary used to ask me after watching the latest Hallmark Movie, "Daddy tell me the truth, is there really true love? Does God really have someone for me?" (Fun fact - if you've been following me on Facebook ( , you already know the answer to Mary's question!!) With a plethora of romance novels, Hallmark movies, and love stores, you would think the search for true love would be easy. But it's not, is it? 

No matter where you find yourself this Valentine's Day, a man named Jesus gave us the perfect model for choosing and loving someone for the rest of your life. Whether you find yourself wanting that special someone or whether you have been married for many years, the secret to true love are found in the words of Jesus: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you" (John 15:12–14 ESV) 

I have been on the receiving end of this kind of love from my beloved wife Jill for the last 33 years. Something profound happens when your mate is all in and not expecting you to become a different of person first. So how do you learn to love someone and lay down your life with no strings attached? Many years ago my assistant Mary asked one of her mentors about things she was looking for in a potential mate. Her mentor simply said, "I want to be able to smell the smoke on him." She said she wasn't interested in marriage unless she found someone who had been tested by the fire and was still standing - someone you could still smell the smoke on. 

I found this verse in the bible that talks about that kind of person, "For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, yet I have not forgotten your statutes." (Psa 119:83 ESV) Beloved, the answer to how you love someone with the kind of sacrificial love that Jesus spoke of, is to first choose someone who's been tested by the fire and is still standing. 

Don't look for the perfect mate - look for the one who won't leave Jesus because they know they owe their everything to Him. Don't be discouraged when you smell smoke on someone - if they've walked through the fire and are still standing, that's saying something about God's faithfulness!! For those of you who are already married - don't be afraid of the broken places you may see in your spouse. God chose us and loved us before the foundations of the world were formed - while we were still broken and stuck in our sin - HE DIED FOR US. Chose to love your spouse and all their broken pieces and just see what transformations happen before your very eyes!! 

Praying for you! Happy Valentine's Day Beloved!



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